Another year has passed. It has been an interesting one at best. I lost my lovely four legged fury child after 17 wonderful years with him. I'm divorced as of January 28, 2013 after 21 years of marriage. Ironically if he had not signed off on the divorce I would have ended up being a widower in July 2013. And, I found out the health crisis that my beloved child has been experiencing for the past 3 years she will eventually succumb to. That has and still is the hardest thing for me to deal with. I have given up my life to care for her for 31 years now due to her handicap and I am so broken by this life challenge. But God reminded me that I have always said that I wanted her to go before me. I just cannot imagine leaving this life and leaving her behind without me. I just fear that someone would harm her and not love her the way I do but even that does not comfort me right now.
Her father, my 1st husband, is no longer with us and somedays I just wish that he was around to care for her so that I would have some time for me for a week at a time. Just me! I have no friends and have not felt the comfort of a man for over nine (9) years now. Since men are so selfish and would require more of my time than I'm prepard to give right now it looks like I'll not experience the feel of another man and will be going to my grave single.
It is the wish and my prayer to have a windfall of money so I can retire from work and stay home fulltime with my little woman until the end. I pray that she does not suffer and will go peacefully and that I do not have to watch her suffer. God be ever so merciful. Continue to guide my steps, the shoulder I can lean and cry on.
Until later.....hope it's not another year. Need an outlet!
